Table for One: Solo Dining in NYC

Living in New York or any major city, you quickly learn that everyone's always on the go. No one slows down and you can't even blame them. Everyone has places to be. It's a city where plans are constantly brewing, and you feel this urge to keep up with it all. After all, isn't that why you left your cushy suburban life for a city filled with the unexpected?

Amidst all the craziness, though, you'll spot the solos enjoying a pastry at a café, sitting at the bar alone, or dining in by themselves at a full-service restaurant. They walk in and ask for a table for one. As a bystander, your first thought might be that their friends bailed, maybe even a date stood them up, or that they're just experiencing a lonely moment. And while all of that could be true, they also might be taking in a moment of solitude.

If you asked me about solo dining a few years ago, I would've had absolutely no input. But now, it's been on my mind as I reflect on my experiences with adulting and moving to a big city. On the surface, I'd say it's what the cool kids do. But if you were to ask me on a deeper level, I'd admit it's an incredibly brave thing to do – like people who take themselves out to watch a movie alone.

I'd also confess to you that...I don't enjoy it. For context, I'm a person who loves the company of people. One of my favorite things about food is actually sharing the experience, whether that's trying a new spot or sharing what I cooked up. When you're passionate about something, you want to include others in it because it makes it even more special. I'm also just a chronic yapper by nature, and often found talking someone's ear off until I notice they've finished their food before I've made a dent in mine.

So solo dining isn't something I'd happily choose to do, and to be completely transparent, I find it to be a lonely experience. Life already gives us too many of those moments, and it's always better to cherish relationships and create more shared memories when you have the chance.

But here's the thing: you've already moved to seek out new adventures that can only be found outside your comfort bubble. So why wait to try all your favorite restaurants or do all your favorite things? They'll just end up on a list somewhere that you never checked off because you were waiting on someone's schedule or the "right" moment. Instead, create those moments yourself.

Some of my greatest experiences have come from solo dining – aka taking myself out on a date. One of those moments led me to try a cute neighborhood ramen spot, which then led me to make my way over for some coffee + dessert (have to complete the date, duh) where I stumbled across a couple playing jazz at a café. And to cap the night off, I did what I find inspiring in others – took myself to the movies alone. That's where I discovered a tennis court in the middle of Manhattan...and now I'm learning how to play tennis there each week. Watch out for me in the US Open in 2060.

Another impulsive solo adventure led me to meet The Pasta Queen in person and get a signed copy of her cookbook. A solo stroll in the neighborhood helped me discover my now go-to sushi spot. Anyway, you get the point. It was in the moments of FOMO and sincere attempts to challenge myself that allowed me to turn around blah days and spark new hobbies.

I'm still not completely comfortable with solo dining. I catch myself trying to avoid perceived societal judgment by distracting myself on my phone or putting on a Netflix show like an iPad kid. But I'm coming to terms with the concept as it comes with the phases of adulthood, misaligned schedules, and necessary self-care moments. It offers much-needed solitude in a city full of noise.

If you're in NYC, just moved to a big city, or find yourself anywhere new – experience it all, and experience it for yourself. Those moments could lead you to discover discrete things meant only for you to find. It's scary, but what isn't? It's often the most uncomfortable things we do that lead to our greatest experiences.

For those ready to dip their toes into solo dining in NYC, I highly recommend Ichiran. It's a famous tonkotsu ramen spot that brings the Japanese experience cityside, with individual privacy booths to enjoy the BEST bowl of ramen I've ever had...by myself...in peace. It's an incredible experience and one of my top recommendations for anyone visiting NYC.

My first solo dining experience there in 2022:

And let's be real, solo dining can't be as bad as dining with a shitty date or unpleasant company, right?

RULE OF THUMB: Never take anyone to your favorite restaurant unless they've rightfully earned the privilege. Or else, the restaurant becomes wrecked for you too.

And that would be such a damn shame.

Remember, solo dining is about creating your own experiences and finding joy in your own company. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it can open doors to unexpected adventures and some self-discovery. So go ahead, ask for that table for one – you just never know where it might lead you. 

Plus, you'll be able to save all of your favorite spots for the people who truly deserve to share them with you. In the end, a table for one might just be the best reservation you ever make.